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...What if your expatriation was the opportunity to discover and let your True Self emerge!
“We would all be transformed if we had the courage to be what we are. »
Marguerite Yourcenar
YOU FOLLOWED YOUR SPOUSE TO LIVE ABROAD
Even chosen, this experience can be destabilizing.
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These situations may resonate with you:
You've lost and then settled new landmarks, often very different from the ones of your country of origin.
You left your job, a place where you felt recognized and appreciated. You might feel a loss of self-confidence & self-esteem as well as financial autonomy.
If you can’t work, you probably had to change the way you occupy your time: volunteering, running the house and taking care of the kids, learning new skills. If it doesn’t suit you, your might feel a lack of motivation.
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If you can work, this new professional context is probably different from that of your home country: new language, lack of professional network... You feel weakened by this shift. You’ve had to adapt to a new culture whose codes are unknown to you. It’s harder to feel "at home".
Being far from you close relationships (friends and family), you might feel lonely. Being "strangers" to your experience, they may not understand the complexity of your experience. This feeling of loneliness can be intensified by the difference between their perception of your (idyllic) life and your real (uncomfortable, destabilizing) experience. This gap is difficult to share.. you feel misunderstood.
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For those of you who are mothers, perhaps you also feel loneliness in raising your children. Your educational models being absent (cultural and family), you must create them yourself. In addition, the help from grandparents and the family in general is not possible in this context.
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This list comes from my own experience. Having moved 4 times with 3 children (Dubai, Amsterdam, London and San Francisco) and helped hundreds of families relocating as the co-founder of a relocation agency in Dubai and London, I understand your challenges!
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THE TWO SIDES OF EXPATRIATION:
Expatriation can be endured or taken as an opportunity
And if this experience far from home was the opportunity: ​
To let go of the person you think you need to be...
... and embody who you really are ​
To take advantage of the distance from your home country (cradle of your “identity mold”), to discover and unfold the Being that hides behind the "masks" that you wear on a daily basis.
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WHAT MAKE THE EXPATRIATION AND IDEAL PLACE AND TIME TO UNFOLD?
By being immersed in a culture different from ours, we experience other ways of being, doing and thinking.
This allows us to put into perspective the framework in which we grew up and reassess our original beliefs. ​
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We move away from the environment that has nurtured and shaped the mold in which we have crafted our identity. It gives us more freedom to behave differently, in a context that will allow our identity to take an increasingly impregnated form of our True Nature.
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Our loved ones are far away. Being used to interacting with our "original mold", they could exert resistance to see us change (often unconsciously).
This distance gives a greater freedom for the unfoldment to happen...
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The clean slate...
We land in an ecosystem that is unknown to us and for which we are unknown.
Each expatriation is an opportunity to write a new chapter of our life in which we can "practice" this blooming person that we are becoming.
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An unavoidable disruption occurs which triggers our defense mechanism - behaviors, thought patterns, limiting beliefs. These mechanisms being out in the open, we can turn towards them and take the necessary steps to address them so that they don't block us anymore. Surprisingly, our unfoldment is rooted in this point of instability.
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In my coaching programs, I act as a guide and witness to the unfoldment of your True Nature that has been obstructed by your conditioning.
Our conditionings are the ways we have learned to "be in the world". Very useful when we were children, they often limit us in our adult life. By remaining faithful to these conditionings (by playing the person we think we should be), we betray ou Unconditioned Being, patiently waiting to unfold.
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This disconnection from our Unconditioned Being / True Self, is often manifested in the way we look at ourselves and by various blockages in the fluidity of our lives:
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Lack of confidence and self-esteem
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Difficulty in fulfilling our wishes or goals
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Relationship nodes with our loved ones or at work
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Ignorance and disregard for our own needs
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Difficulty adapting to a new environment
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Paralysis in our communication with others
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Inability to regulate our emotions
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Feeling of being regularly rejected by others
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Fear of the unknown or leaving our comfort zone
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Difficulty expressing our opinion or saying no
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Feeling an inertia that, despite the desire to accomplish things, prevents us from moving
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Blocked in our projects by an impostor syndrome or perfectionism
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Darkened by chronic stress that prevents us from experiencing joy
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These are some of the ways in which we experience the disconnection from our True Nature. We can talk about your unique way of experiencing that disconnection in your life during a free discovery session.
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